{"id":1739,"date":"2016-11-19T17:56:12","date_gmt":"2016-11-19T17:56:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.chanceprogram.hu\/en\/?p=1739"},"modified":"2016-11-19T17:56:12","modified_gmt":"2016-11-19T17:56:12","slug":"parents-wrote-angela","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.chanceprogram.hu\/en\/parents-wrote-angela\/","title":{"rendered":"Parents wrote – Ang\u00e9la"},"content":{"rendered":"

There have been trouble with my middle child for years now and it has gotten so bad that we didn\u2019t even talk to each other in the end. I fell into despair, I was spastically looking for a solution. I tried to ask for help from psychologists, educational councelor, but nothing worked. I felt the time and need for drastic change. That\u2019s when I\u2019ve received a link from a friend about the Chance Program. I\u2019ve immediately made a phone call and the next day we were on our way to Budapest. It was the last moment, the last second, which made it easy to make the decision about my son\u2019s departure. He got on the plane and flew to Sr\u00ed Lanka on the 31st of May.<\/span><\/p>\n

The kid\u2019s departure also gave me a chance to calmly think over what I\u2019ve done wrong. After a few weeks I clearly and exactly saw where I went wrong. <\/span><\/p>\n

After the passing of the first week G\u00fcnther was already calling me \u2013 after not speaking to each other for more than a half year. He friended me on Facebook, sent me pictures, wrote me daily, he told me about his joys and woes. Then he started to get in contact with his sibling with whom he didn\u2019t have any contact for long years. So something started to happen. \u2019Seeing is beleiving\u2019 \u2013 I told myself.<\/span><\/p>\n

I had the opportunity to see, since there\u2019s the chance of visiting my child in this program \u2013 so I was excited to get to August. <\/span><\/p>\n

My arrival was already fantastic. I finally hugged my child who hugged me back the way he used to! I could see in him eyes how happy he was to see me. We talked all the way through the trip from the airport to the accomodation.<\/span><\/p>\n

After getting there G\u00fcnther enthusiastically showed me around the house and introduced me to the team. I got to know exciting people. The mentored kids were all nice and happy \u2013 one wouldn\u2019t even think that these kids are dragging serious issues inside their hearts. The endless patience of the mentors and the quality of love they gave the kids was astonishing. <\/span><\/p>\n

So I\u2019ve gotten into the group where everybody was accepting everyone else. Where the most important was to make the children realise how valuable and loving they are.<\/span><\/p>\n

The daily routine was the same every time. Wakening, breakfast, work, filmmaking, filmwatching, english class, lunch, group therapy, afternoon free program with hiking or swimming, whatever kids would like. We decided who does which of the chores next day with card games every night. We talked, barbecued, played the guitar, sang, had big meals. It was community life from dusk till dawn.<\/span><\/p>\n

We\u2019ve unnoticeably gotten closer with my son in the meanwhile. We both wanted to be better. We\u2019ve spent a lot of time together, we shared a room, we talked every night and played a lot of card games. We\u2019ve usually spent the free time together, just the two of us. G\u00fcnther showed me the local things worth to see, introduced me to the local people he had a good connection with. We went to the market place where he selected the things to buy and argued for the price with big expertise \u2013 in english. Since he has also learned to speak english during this three months. <\/span><\/p>\n

The country was beautiful. Now I understand why it is called the \u2019jewelbox of Asia\u2019. It was uplifting to see a world that\u2019s so much different from ours, and to get to know the people living there who seem to be happy and accepting things the way they are and not infected by the westernized, material world. Our kids turned to them with love, treated them as friends, kept in touch on a daily basis. It was interesting how two deeply different culture finds the way to each other. When we were saying good bye, I\u2019ve seen teary eyes which made me overcome by emotions. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never spent so much time together with my son. We talked about subjects we\u2019ve never touched before. My own problems, our family, about what\u2019s going to happen to us, how I see our lives, his future, and what he wants. As the time came to go home, I could see on my son how much he wanted to see his family again. The first meeting was touching, because G\u00fcnther hugged his little brother first \u2013 his brother of whom he was so jealous. He was happy for his sister also, he bought a pretty ring for her. His siblings were also happy to see G\u00fcnther. We stayed in Budapest for a day, hanging out, talking, having big laughs. <\/span><\/p>\n

Few days after getting home the school semester started. We had to adjust to the usual rhythm. G\u00fcnther started the school year, fitted in the boarding school well. I was asking about him from his teachers and I\u2019ve only heard good things. We talk on the phone every day. I can feel he is well, accepted the rules. When he comes home on the weekends we talk, watch TV together, I find he feels good at home. Sometimes he doesn\u2019t even leave. <\/span><\/p>\n

I needed to go to Sr\u00ed Lanka to see my child. The Chance Program could probably be more efficient if the parents could take part in the therapy, because we have to accept that the child is only carrying the symptom of the problem in the family. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve learned a lot during the three weeks. I\u2019ve learned that I don\u2019t have to know everything better all the time. The child doesn\u2019t have to be perfect. We don\u2019t correct a person in front of other people. Things don\u2019t have to be forbidden for a child just because we think he is too young for it. We don\u2019t bore each other with uninteresting stories. We have to tret each other as partners. Children have to feel safe, the loving hand of the parent, and most of all, they have to be happy. And I\u2019ve learned that if any matter comes up, the most important is to love our child even more!<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve chosen a difficult profession when decided to set the right path for our \u2019problematic\u2019 children while also sharing your knowledge with us and stand for us as an example. Thank you for what you did for us. Thank you for giving my child back to me. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There have been trouble with my middle child for years now and it has gotten so bad that we didn\u2019t even talk to each other in the end. I fell into despair, I was spastically looking for a solution. I tried to ask for help from psychologists, educational councelor, but nothing worked. I felt the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chanceprogram.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1739"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chanceprogram.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chanceprogram.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chanceprogram.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chanceprogram.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1739"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.chanceprogram.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1739\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1740,"href":"https:\/\/www.chanceprogram.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1739\/revisions\/1740"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chanceprogram.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1739"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chanceprogram.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1739"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chanceprogram.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1739"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}